Husband, wife battle cancer
Benefit set to help Flor family
by JESSICA L. FINCH Associate Editor

Ray and Bonnie Flor are both battling cancer, which has resulted in immense medical expenses. A benefit has been planned for Sunday to assist the Amherst couple.

Bonnie Flor was lying in a bed in Sister's Hospital, recovering from another dose of chemotherapy that wreaked havoc on her body. Across town, her husband, Ray, was being admitted to Millard Fillmore Suburban for a terrible headache that later proved to be five brain tumors.

Constantly running back and forth to care for their parents, who are Amherst residents, are the Flor siblings and other family members.

Daughter Amy Flor said it's been faith and family that has kept Bonnie alive, battling ovarian cancer since May 2000.

The fight started during a regular appointment when her doctor noticed something that felt like a tumor in her stomach.

"My dad flew over there to be with her ... they said it was a tumor, and everything has trickled down from there," Amy said. "It was a complete shock to the family. Everything was normal; there were no symptoms. That's why it's sometimes called the silent killer."

Five days after being diagnosed, Bonnie was in surgery, and the doctor recommended chemotherapy treatment for six months. During a second look the doctors thought everything was good and Bonnie's tests were OK, but the cancer returned and another dose of chemotherapy was prescribed.

The next few years Bonnie continued to fight, with moments of remission and moments of concern. In 2005 the family honored her as a five-year survivor.

"Approximately 95 percent of women diagnosed don't live five years. We celebrated the mile marker," Amy said.

But the celebration quickly faded. More tumors were found, and Bonnie found herself having chemotherapy treatments again.

Bonnie came close to death at one point. In 2005 she had a blockage in one of her main arteries that was triggered by her metaport, a surgically implanted plastic tube that is just beneath the skin. It allows chemo patients to get their IV drugs. Amy said her mother's face turned purple and swelled excessively.

"We didn't expect her to live; it was a very, very close call," she said.

Bonnie was in intensive care for days.

Another surgery lay ahead for Bonnie. The cancer had returned and she had surgery in December 2005, from which she had a hard time recovering.

"So many people have been praying for her, it's unbelievable," Amy said.

Amy said her sister Jenny's wedding, and then two years later, her bother Ray III's wedding, gave Bonnie something to fight for. Then when Ray and his wife, Carrie, were expecting a child Bonnie once again found strength.

"She hoped and prayed to see her grandchild. On the day he was born it was like she wasn't sick. It was the most normal we had seen her," Amy said.

Unknown to the family, they were going to face more challenges. Their father, Ray, who had been a pillar of strength for Bonnie, started to change, becoming more agitated with the difficulties of his wife's disease. He wasn't acting like himself.

Ray later learned he was suffering from brain tumors and stage IV esophageal cancer. In August 2007, Ray, a man who had always been a hard worker, was sent home from work. Amy and her cousin insisted he go to the emergency room.

It wasn't stress, it wasn't a headache, it was the family's worst nightmare - another parent was about to start a battle with cancer.

The Flor siblings and their family members went back and forth about whether they should tell Bonnie, who was at Sister's Hospital.

Ray stayed at Millard Fillmore Suburban, waiting for transport to Roswell Park Cancer Institute.

Bonnie was released but was soon back in the hospital. While Ray sat in his hospital room he didn't know his wife was downstairs in the emergency department.

Through the help of the hospital administration and a very accommodating roommate, Bonnie and Ray were united, sharing a hospital room.

On the day of his surgery, Ray waited six hours with the headgear screwed in, which caused excruciating pain. He underwent a gamma knife treatment and had the tumors removed.

For his esophageal cancer he underwent radiation and is currently on a chemotherapy treatment plan.

Bonnie continues to battle, undergoing procedures and treatments. She can't eat, drink or even take her medication without becoming sick. She stays home most of the time.

"There has been overwhelming stress," Amy said. There is never a normal day, never an easy day."

Jenny, whose married name is Tucker, said the hardest part has been seeing her parents change.

"They are the opposite of what they once were. It's hard to see them going through this," she said.

Ray worked hard to support his family, spending many years with Brand Names. On the company's final day in Buffalo he was the person who locked the door for the last time.

Bonnie has been an active community member, involved with girls softball. She worked at Country Parkway Elementary School as a secretary.

Amy said the school has gone above and beyond in its outpouring of support.

The family also acknowledged the support of their cousin, Elaine Diederich, a registered nurse who has helped the family understand what is going on with their parents. She also has visited the couple constantly, helping Bonnie with her treatments.

But the family is in need of help. Not able to work, the couple is without insurance and up against immense medical expenses.

A Benefit of Love has been planned from 1 to 5 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 20 at St. Mary's Parish Center, 6919 Transit Road, near Smith Road. Tickets are $20 each or two for $30, which includes food and beverages. A Chinese auction, silent auction and 50/50 raffle will take place.

For information, visit the Web site www.florbenefit.org.