Talk to strangers
CHRISTINE HICKS- USTA Travel
Guilty. I'm as guilty as the next person. There are times when I simply choose to disengage while waiting in public places, seated on public transportation or seeking a private moment in a crowded venue. You know - you tuck your head further into a book or pop in your iPod (if you have one) and at least appear to zone into a place no one ought breach. Even sunglasses can take you from "approachable" to "un" with sufficient attitude.

We all do this more than we should. When you think about it, it's egocentric to disallow people into your life. It's an opportunity lost to engage people you'll never meet again, to tango with new ideas and perspectives, and extend yourself beyond yourself. What - or who - are you saving yourself for?

I read an article in one of my favorite travel magazines, the thrust of which was tips for solo travelers. While some of the tips were strictly practical, most offered strategies for allying yourself with the tourist populace on a cruise, in a hotel or dining out. It's less scary to travel alone when you make friends along the way. While you may have e-pals on your "cell" or laptop, the real thing is far preferable. The electronic environment is isolationist. Technology generally runs ahead of social behavior. In Western civilization, the two tend not to synch.

What would happen if you left the iPod, laptop, books and magazines at home, or unopened? What if you were forced into conversation with a fellow traveler?

What would happen is the same thing that happens whenever a community tragedy strikes, though on a far smaller scale. You get to know someone - their situation, a little about their life. Maybe you put yourself in their shoes for a few nanoseconds. Perhaps you find you have lots in common. Maybe you move on to someone with whom you better relate, or could assist, in an emergency situation. In any event, these encounters change your life every time. That kind of connection is impossible to forge listening to music or reading solo. My late husband (who worked for an airline) was stuck on the tarmac on one of his own planes. A salesman, he was keenly aware of the disgruntlement engendered in such situations. Over a scotch and water (what he undoubtedly ordered on the flight home from a Chicago business trip), he solicited conversation with a paying passenger. He and Jim got on so well and had so much in common that they became lifelong friends. The two enjoyed some flavorful conversations in ensuing years, and we even spent a couple of holidays at Jim's condo in Colorado. I guess I'm saying that in a world crammed full of people and stuffed with even more misunderstanding, unplugging and engaging, even "tete-a-tete" on trains, planes and subways, could - no, would - make this world that little bit safer. "Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet," said Will Rogers. We could all use a few more friends - and far fewer strangers. (Christine Hicks-Usta has enjoyed more than 30 years of globe-trotting as a member of the travel industry in various capacities. Direct questions to her at Bee Group Newspapers, P.O. Box 150, Buffalo, NY 14231-0150.)