No truth to the rumor that "He sells me shells by the me shore" is the working title for the political memoirs of one Joel Giambra - not that anyone would buy them anyway.

But it sure would fit after the county executive took the wraps off his latest four-year financial shell game, designed first as a way to rehabilitate his already irreparably soiled reputation and second to serve as yet another way for the king and his court to snicker in the face of the county's control board.

The plan, to make school districts now serve as the downtrodden kingdom's newest tax collectors, is hardly new. It's been floating around the Rath Building hallways for years, and until now been roundly rejected.

Why? Because there are more fatal flaws in the plan - and Giambra knows it - than there are stacks of loose-leaf notebook paper at your backyard big-box retailer.

In fact, very little has been said about the most deadly defect of all, largely because there's as much chance of this idea flying as there is of the Buffalo Bills hoisting the Lombardi Trophy next February.

Still, the fact remains, that if no less than a half-dozen different county and state governmental bodies somehow are inexplicably bamboozled by this lucre lunacy, the public at large would also need to green light this bizarre blue print.

For remember that school budgets have to be voted on by the public, and often resemble referendums on taxes in general instead of reflecting the relative educational value and soundness of the proposal before them.

The Cliff Notes version of the plan, according to Joel, is this, "Go-ahead fine fellows of the fiefdom and vote yourself a massive tax increase. But don't worry, we'll get you your money back somehow, I promise."

Local "no" voters would be in lines longer than in an Ohio presidential election, should this scheme somehow see the light of day. If voters turn down their school budget - which many would assuredly do - districts would have no choice but to eventually adopt a state-mandated contingency budget, which not only handcuffs districts and their students but blows the plan to smithereens to boot.

Nice plan. The shame of it is if Giambra - apparently recently returned from a refresher course at the Donald Rumsfeld School of Reality Repudiation - would devote as much time on actual reform as he does on his dumdum doctrines, there might be some valid reason to believe this or other ideas he might float are actually in our best interests.

Giambra believes dissatisfaction over the plan comes from some widespread wish to extract personal revenge on a stellar public servant.

Not really, Joel. It's not a pound of political flesh we want from you, it's all 170 or 180 pounds of it, out from behind your overpriced desk, out of office and away from the crumbled carnage you have left in your wake.

It's no wonder that Giambra enabler Jim Harman all but grabbed control board chairman Anthony Baynes around the lapels last week, publicly throwing down the going-hard gauntlet.

If nothing else, he's surely tired of making repeated trips to the control board's woodshed.

Every one of its recent meetings has featured Hartman doing his best Ebenezer Scrooge imitation, peering over his half-glasses defending the financial indefensible. If the county got a dollar for every one of Hartman's "uhs, "ahhs" and "you knows" when trying to answer even the simplest of budget questions, the control board could vanish tomorrow.

As usual, Mr. Me First is selling, and what he has on the table isn't nearly as pretty as a seashell. In fact, even more predictably, it stinks like rotting fish on a seashore. Fortunately, no one is buying.

(Brian Ackley is a columnist for the Weekly Independent Newspapers (WIN) of Western New York. WIN is a consortium of 19 community based weekly newspapers in Erie and Niagara counties with a combined paid circulation of 75,000 homes, providing collaborative advertising and editorial support for member publications. For more information on WIN, or to provide feedback on this column, visit our Web site at www.wnynewspapers.com. Opinions expressed here are those of the author.)