“I have always been interested in marital law,” said Nadia N. Shahram.

After graduating from the University at Buffalo Law School in 1997, Shahram went to Europe for one year.

While there, she was introduced to a form of matrimonial law called “matrimonial mediation.” It is widely used in Europe as a more peaceful way to settle divorce.

“Our courts are based upon criminal laws, so why should couples that have relationship problems go where criminals go,” Shahram said.

When she came back to the United States, she was trained to be a divorce and family mediator at the Rochester Mediation Center.

She opened her business, Matrimonial Mediation Service of Buffalo, Inc. in 1998, which is located at 4511 Snyder Square North, Snyder.

Matrimonial mediation provides couples a private, civilized and dignified way to resolve conflict in matters of divorce, separation, child custody, visitation and distribution of marital assets.

New York State (NYS) matrimonial law states that in order for couples to get a divorce, they must be legally separated for one year.

Through matrimonial mediation, the couple signs an agreement declaring them legally separated once they have smoothed out all of the details of their divorce.

“This is a peaceful and civilized process,” said Shahram. “I am trying to raise awareness that there is a way to sever a spousal relationship without hurting the children, the friendship and themselves.”

One out of 100 people who seek matrimonial mediation take a second look at their marriage, said Shahram.

While the mediator helps couples better understand the issues and may offer suggestions or develop options for them to decide upon, the final agreement is one that both parties agree with, she added.

In other words, it leads to an agreement, guided by the law, which is more likely to be honored by the parties than a court-forced settlement.

In a traditional divorce, lawyers present the case to the judge, who makes the final decision.

“If you want to devastate your family and self, go to court. But before you do that think about matrimonial mediation to keep your sanity,” said Shahram.

e-mail: JSchmelzer@beenews.com